DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek Voyager characters & universe are the property of
Paramount/Viacom. We only
borrowed them for this story. Thanks to William Shatner for the use of an idea from his novel,
"The Return" No
infringement is intended.
Scott Taylor & Lorrie Miller
July
1998**************************************************************************
**
                       "The Enlightening"
                by Scott Taylor & Lorrie Miller
MORALE OFFICER'S LOG: STARDATE 98430.12 Recently, the crew has been under an
enormous amount of job related stress. It is coming out in different ways, fist fights in sandrines,
arguments in the mess hall, etc. I have also noticed a strain in the Captain's relationship with just
about everyone on the ship, including Commander Chakotay. I intend to take some time and
discuss this issue with her, as carefully as possible.
On the bridge, Captain Janeway was in her command chair relishing the normal routine of the past
few hours, when there was the familiar beeping sound of the comm.
"Captain Janeway," Neelix's voice, "I need to discuss an issue of some importance with you."
Sitting next to the Captain, Chakotay saw the expression on her face change as soon as Neelix's
voice came over the comm. An all too familiar expression of late. In their four years of service
together he'd been witness to almost all her moods. Recently, however, she'd shown an impatience
that was not the Captain he'd come to respect. The past couple of days in various locations
around the ship, he was aware of the hushed conversations as he approached. He knew the crew
was aware of her behavior changes as well. It was up to him to remedy the situation, and he had
just the thing to get his Captain out of her mood.
"What can I do for you Mr. Neelix?" she spat.
"I have some concerns about the crew I'd like to discuss with you, perhaps over breakfast
tomorrow?" he said in his usual upbeat tone. "I've got some delectable Talasian Glok Root with
hollandaise sauce that "
"Mr. Neelix," she said, clearly annoyed, "I don't need to hear the entire breakfast menu, meet me
in my ready room in a half hour, Janeway out." She got up and started across the bridge.
"Captain," Chakotay said with some concern, "I'm sure Neelix has the crews best interest "
"I'll be in my ready room Commander, you have the bridge."
________________________________________________________________________
In her ready room after storming off the bridge, Captain Janeway was sitting at her desk
wondering what she had gone in there to do. She had been curt with Neelix and Commander
Chakotay in front of the bridge staff, and suspected her hasty retreat was to avoid staring eyes.
When she was in this kind of mood there were two people on board that pushed her buttons.
While on opposite ends of the spectrum, the Doctor with his abrasive nature, and Neelix, who
would give her the shirt off his back, sometimes drove her crazy.
She retrieved the duty roster from her desk drawer, and had just began reading it when the comm
sounded.
"Sick bay to Captain Janeway" the Doctor's voice boomed. She had the feeling this couldn't
possibly be good. Just a few minutes ago, she was enjoying a peaceful shift on the bridge. Now, it
appeared as if the wheels were coming off.
"Yes Doctor" she said slightly exasperated.
"Today I did a routine physical on Seven of Nine, and it is my opinion, we have a problem." he
said in a matter of fact tone.
"What seems to be the problem?" she asked concerned. *No problem involving Seven could
possibly be small or easily remedied* she thought.
"As we have discussed before, I've managed to suppress her body's natural hormone production,
slowly introducing them until they reach normal levels for a woman her age. However, they're
starting to show themselves. I have approached her on the subject, and all I get is that standard
borg response, 'Human sexuality is irrelevant'. I can't tell you how sick I am of hearing that." he
said disgusted.
"Your point Doctor" she said impatiently.
"At your request, I've been tutoring Seven with her health and human interaction skills. She has
been accessing the ships computer on several issues lately, human sexuality for one, has been a
focus. For something so irrelevant, she has been spending a lot of time researching it. I am
concerned Captain, she is emotionally only a child in a woman's body. Researching something and
actually having to live with it, won't adequately prepare her for dealing with these feelings. She
cannot be expected to handle this without guidance."
"What do you have in mind?" she asked, afraid of where this was going.
"Captain, you'd have to agree, your relationship with Seven is unique. I'm sure you're also aware
of the trust and respect she has for your judgement."
"I was afraid you were going to say that, I'll take care of it tonight." *What else can possibly go
wrong* she thought.
"One more thing Captain" he said seriously, "I think you should alert security of this matter. As
difficult as this is for me to admit, I'm not sure how Seven will react to these new sensations she
will be experiencing. It's been her history, her denial of her humanity usually results in anger. I
don't know who's broken more noses on this ship, Seven or B'Ellana."
"Thank you Doctor, your concerns are noted, anything else?"
"As a matter of fact, there is something" he started lecturing, "You have ignored all my requests
for you to lighten your workload " *The wheels have definitely come off* she thought.
________________________________________________________________________
Neelix arrived on time, entered the ready room and exited again less than two minutes later with a
concerned look on his face. He walked down to where Chakotay sat.
"Commander, I think you better go in there. When she won't even listen to me, I know she needs
some time off. Let's face it, you're the only one who can get away with telling her that."
"I know Neelix, I had a feeling you would get that kind of a reception. I should of warned you,
I'm sorry."
"No need to apologize Commander, just help her. You know how much I care about her, I hate to
see her so agitated."
"I'm sure she knows you meant well, I'll take care of it." He picked up a satchel that was next to
his seat, stood up, and walked Neelix to the turbolift. "Thanks for trying Neelix." The Talaxian
gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder.
"Good luck Chakotay." It was one of the few times he'd used Chakotay's name. The lift door
wooshed shut and Chakotay headed toward the ready room. *It was now or never* he thought.
Kathryn's foul mood was effecting everyone on the ship.
"Tuvok, you have the bridge." He pressed the chime.
"Aye sir."
No one knew the Captain as well as Tuvok. As unemotional as he supposedly was, Chakotay had
the feeling Tuvok knew exactly what was going on. While he may not share the need for
socialization or relaxation for that matter, he understood a human's need, especially the Captain's.
"Come in." she sounded aggravated right through the door. He entered briskly and pulled up a
chair opposite her at the desk. He sat there for several seconds attempting to make eye contact.
"Yes commander?" she asked not looking up.
"Captain, how long has it been since you ran your holodeck program, or had a meal for that
matter?" Sighing, she looked up from the report padd she was reading.
"Not you too? The doctor threatened to relieve me of duty if I didn't get some rest. I was told I
would get some sleep tonight with, or without his intervention. There was some mention of
calling security too."
"I can see it now," he said starting to laugh, "Tuvok dragging you off to bed."
The Captain sat back and ran her hand through her hair. She actually had a grin on her face. He
was encouraged to see her softening up a bit.
"Chakotay, you know as well as anyone the pressure this crew has been under lately. The doctor
wants me to go to bed. Mr. Neelix thinks I look tired and need to eat. What do you think I need?"
"I " he started.
"Neelix also feels the crew is in need of some R & R. I can't say I don't agree with him. I'd like
you to check with the department heads and change the duty schedules to allow for some down
time." She finally seemed finished, there was a pause.
"I agree, I've already done just that, pending your approval."
"Good, you have it anything else?"
"As a matter of fact yes, I was thinking it's been some time since we explored your quest for an
animal guide." He put his medicine bundle on her desk. "I took the liberty of bringing this with
me. We can begin immediately."
"I have all this reading to catch up on, I don't have time for this." she said gesturing with her hand
as if to dismiss the subject.
"If not now, when? It's nearly 1800 hrs. and you've been off duty for almost an hour. There's
nothing here that can't be done tomorrow." She knew she wasn't going to be able to keep up her
argument, he was right and they both knew it.
"Besides," he continued, "do you want to spend the evening with me or avoiding the doctors
hypo-spray?"
"Ok, ok you win" she held her hands out in mock surrender. "But I have a matter to tend to first."
________________________________________________________________________
Harry walked down the corridor to Stellar Cartography. The Captain had asked him to do a
diagnostic on the sensor array. He was actually excited about it. He'd been hoping for a chance to
get Seven alone for a few minutes. Now was as good a chance as any.
He stopped for a second before he went in. He took a deep breath to steady himself. *Oh, come
on Harry, get a hold of yourself*, he thought. With that he went in.
"Seven," he called out.
"I am here Ensign." He heard the precise clipped words as she answered him.
"Hi Seven, the Captain sent me down to do a diagnostic-"
"On the sensor array. Yes, I know, she called down to tell me you were on your way."
*Thanks Captain* he thought, *thanks a lot* She looked at him.
"Well Ensign, are you just going to stand there or are you going to get to work?"
"I guess I'm going to get to work." He walked over to the console and got busy. About half an
hour later he was almost finished. Although it didn't take long, he'd been on his feet most of the
day and his back was a little stiff. Finishing the diagnostic and sending the readings directly to the
bridge, he stretched and groaned a little. She turned to looked at him.
"Is something wrong Ensign?" Harry sighed.
"Seven, I don't know how you do it."
"Do what?" she said going back to her work.
"Stand all day like you do without getting tired. I've been on my feet most of the day and my back
is killing me."
"Maybe you should go see the Doctor."
"Yeah, I think maybe I will if it keeps up." He had her attention and decided to make his move.
"Listen, my shift is over in ten minutes, so is yours. I'm going to meet Tom and B 'Elanna in the
mess
hall, why don't you come along?"
"Ensign Kim, that kind of socialization is unproductive. When I get done here, the Doctor gave
me several tapes to study."
"Thanks Doc" Harry muttered under his breath. *What was it today? It seemed like half the senior
staff was out to ruin his love life* then he thought, *How can they ruin something that doesn't
exist?* She had turned back to her console. He decided to give it another shot. "Seven, does
everything you do have to be productive?" He reached out and gently took hold of her elbow in
order to turn her toward him. The next thing he knew, he was on the floor, in considerable pain,
and Seven was standing over him screaming at him.
"Don't you ever touch me again. Next time you do I'll kill you." She stood there for a few seconds
trying to decide what to do. Then with a sob, she turned and ran from the room.
"Doc, I swear all I did was touch her elbow, the next thing I knew I was on the floor." He rubbed
his jaw gingerly. "My god she has a wicked right cross."
"And you say she ran out crying?"
"Yeah, it was the strangest thing. She stood there for a minute like she couldn't believe she'd done
it, then she ran out of Stellar Cartography sobbing." Harry looked up at the Doctor as he worked
on his jaw. "What would make her do that?"
"I don't know Ensign, I am going to have to report this to the Captain. Maybe she can figure out
what is going through her Borg psyche."
"No, I don't want you to tell the Captain?"
"But I have to, she assaulted an officer."
"Yeah, and I'm that officer. I'm also your patient, and I want everything I've told you kept
confidential. That means, no telling the Captain."
"Ensign, this is against my better judgement."
"I know, look, give me some time to handle this myself. If she decks me again or hits anyone else,
you can talk to the Captain, OK?'
"Well, alright."
"Thanks Doc. Are you almost done?" The Doctor took one last sweep over his jaw and then said,
"Your are back to your normal self Ensign. Just go easy on that jaw for a couple of days. Don't
use it as a Borg punching bag any more."
"Yes sir, and thanks." And he left sickbay. When he got out into the hall he started to go to the
mess hall. He got into the turbo lift and was about to say deck five, when suddenly for no reason,
"Cargo bay 2." Came out. The lift let him out just down the hall from Cargo bay 2.
"Well Doc, I may just get a chance to see how well your repair work holds up." He squared his
shoulders and walked in. He stopped for a second, listening. From the far corner of the bay he
heard the unmistakable sounds of a someone crying. It wasn't gut wrenching sobs, just the soft
crying of a very un-happy woman. Walking toward the sound, he found her crouched behind
some storage containers.
"Seven Seven, what's wrong?" He bent down and looked at her. She sniffed a couple of times
and wouldn't look at him.
"Ensign, I I don't know why I'm sorry, I "
"Shhhh, it's all right, I'm OK." He realized he could be taking his life in his hands, but he reached
out slowly and tilted her head up so she was looking at him. Her eyes were red from crying and
she was having a hard time catching her breath. He took his other hand and wiped tears from her
face.
"You know what I think?"
"What?" she said between sniffs.
"I think you need to come with me to my quarters for a while. We can sit and talk, and maybe we
can find out what's wrong."
"We do not need to leave here." she said.
"Seven, the way my back feels right now, I refuse to sit on the floor." He stood up and reached
out his hands. "Now come on." he coaxed her. Looking up, she hesitantly took his hands and
stood up.
When they got to his quarters, he sat her down on the couch. He went to the replicator and got
them each a cup of coffee.
"Seven, are you hungry?"
"I " She almost spouted out her usual line about not requiring sustenance, but instead she said,
"I don't know?"
"Well I want you to trust me, OK?"
"O ..K"
"Computer, two blueberry muffins, warm." He brought them back and then sat down next to her,
but far enough away not to threaten her. He took a sip of his coffee and then a bite of his muffin.
She
watched him and then took a small bite of her muffin. Harry tried not to watch but every once in a
while he glanced over to see how she was doing. She had the muffin gone in four bites. She
sipped at her coffee and grimaced. He smiled. "Coffee takes some getting used to Seven."
"I have noticed that the Captain drinks it regularly."
"That's an understatement, she drinks coffee like a fish. Commander Chakotay is always trying to
get her to cut back." They were quiet while he ate and they both finished their coffee. Finally,
Harry had to ask her what was going on. "Seven, what's wrong?" She sniffed, and it looked like
she might start crying again. He grabbed a box of tissue and offered her one. "They're for your
eyes and nose. You wipe them with it." He took one out and dabbed her cheek where a tear slid
down. She reached over and took one from the box.
"Ensign, I'm-"
"Harry, Seven, Harry. We're off duty now, you can call me Harry."
"Harry, I'm sorry for striking you. I really don't know why I did it. I'm very confused."
"You and me both." He saw the look on her face and carefully reached out and took her hand.
"I assume, you've told the Captain about this." she said.
"No, no, I didn't. The only one who knows anything about it is the Doctor, and he won't say
anything to anyone, I promise."
"Harry, I don't know what's been happening to me. One minute I'm fine and the next, someone
will do or say something to me, and I want to kill them."
"Hmmmmm. You know, it sounds to me like you're going through puberty. Your hormones are
catching up with your body. *And boy do they have a lot of running to do* he thought. He took a
last drink of his coffee and sat back on the couch. His back was beginning to ache again. Still
having hold of her hand, he slowly put his arm behind her on the back of the couch. To his
surprise, she leaned back too. "Seven, have you talked to the Doctor about these feelings? I think
he could help you. I'd talk to the Captain too."
"No, I can't talk to her. I have disappointed her too many times. I'm sure she has given up on me."
"Oh, now that's not true Seven, she wants to help you. I think she worries about you a lot. She
just wants you to be happy."
"But it seems like we always disagree on something. I know I make her angry at times."
"Oh, we all make her angry at one time or another. You can't judge your relationship with her on
those lines." She looked at him for a minute then turned away. "I'm gonna get some more coffee,
you want some?" he asked.
"Yes, Please." He smiled. She was learning. He went to get the coffee from the replicator.
"You know, maybe you should talk to Tuvok. Sometimes he can see things that we don't. What
do you think?" He had his back to her. When he didn't get an answer he turned around. What he
saw didn't really surprise him. She was slumped over on the arm of the couch, sound asleep.
Putting the coffee down, he walked over and very carefully lifted her legs up on the couch. Then,
he got a pillow and gently worked it under her head.
"You must be exhausted." he said softly. Going into his bedroom he found an extra blanket and
covered her with it. As beautiful as she was, right now she looked like a little girl. Vulnerable,
hurting and not understanding why. He went and got ready for bed, but instead of getting into his
bed, he grabbed another pillow and blanket and sat in his recliner. He didn't want her to wake up
and panic. As he fell asleep he thought, *If the Captain can unravel this problem, maybe she'll
have a chance with Seven. Hell, maybe I'll have a chance with Seven.* He closed his eyes and fell
asleep almost as fast as she did.
_______________________________________________________________________
After Chakotay left the ready room, the Captain called Tuvok in. Seconds later her door beeped.
"Come in."
"Yes Captain, you wanted to see me." The Captain sighed and sat back in her chair taking a sip of
her third cup of coffee since going in her ready room.
"Yes Tuvok, I'm not quite sure how to begin here."
"Usually it is best to state the problem. I assume there is a problem?"
"Right again Tuvok, it's Seven of Nine. The Doctor is worried about her. She has been exhibiting
signs of, shall we say, adolescent confusion."
"Pardon me Captain?"
"Apparently, she's going through puberty, and she's having a hard time adjusting to all the
emotions that are assaulting her. It's hard enough on a normal human, she already has the body of
an adult, but the emotions of a teenager."
"What would you have me do Captain?"
"Well, I know of course, that you don't have any emotions, but I also know that of all the people
on this ship you understand them better then anyone else. I'm counting on you to counsel Seven,
to see if you can help her learn to control her emotions. I'm sure you've had some experience with
this kind of thing, being a father and all."
"Yes Captain, I have, and I will talk to Seven of Nine. But Captain, you are the one she respects.
I really believe that this should come from you."
"Sorry Tuvok, good try, but this is your ballgame now." Tuvok raised an eyebrow at her
reference to a ballgame but said only,
"As you wish Captain. I will talk to her as soon as my shift is over. But again, I must warn you, it
may be necessary for you to intervene."
"I'll keep that in mind Tuvok, dismissed."
"Yes Captain" She wanted to get him out before he talked her into something she definitely didn't
want to do. The thought of being a surrogate mother to an adolescent Borg was one bridge she
didn't want to cross. After Tuvok left, she finished up a few odds and ends and headed to her
quarters.
________________________________________________________________________
Chakotay changed clothes and headed to the Captain's quarters. It was her suggestion to meet
there, she felt familiar surroundings would help her with her quest. Chakotay agreed, being at
peace and in comfortable surroundings enhanced visions immeasurably.
Entering her quarters he noticed she was taking food from the replicator to a table she had set.
She was wearing a silky, flowing, pink outfit. She had done her hair and he thought he could smell
perfume. *How could she have done so much so quickly* he wondered.
Thoughts of what his life could of been flooded his mind. A life with a home in the country,
children, and a woman he loved. On New Earth during their months of exile, he had come to
accept they would spend the rest of their lives together, alone. Shortly after waking up from
stasis, he knew he loved her. By the time they beamed back up to Voyager, he knew she loved
him. He suddenly realized he was staring at her.
"Chakotay, are you alright?" she asked feeling a bit self-conscious.
"Yes, yes, of course. I'm fine, it's just I never expected uh Kathryn, you look beautiful!"
"Don't act so surprised Commander" she said mockingly. Her self-conscious feeling was suddenly
gone. It hadn't been her intention, but she had him on the ropes stammering like a prom date, she
loved it. He got a hold of himself, crossed the room, and sat at the table.
"You were right Chakotay, I can't remember when I last ate so I thought this would be a good
opportunity to try this program Neelix gave me." She said as she made up their plates. He shot
her a, 'Have you lost your mind', look.
"Where's your sense of adventure Commander?" she asked laughing. "I'm hungry, not crazy.
There's always other choices. After all, this is Neelix we're talking about." She sat down across
the table from him.
Taking her hand he said, "This is nice, we haven't had dinner together in a long time."
"Too long" she whispered.
For the next hour they ate and engaged in small talk.
"I still can't believe it, Neelix actually created a replicator program that was edible." he joked
putting dishes back in the replicator. He returned to the table where Kathryn was already seated.
He noticed a
leather satchel on top of the table.
"Your own medicine bundle, when did you put that together?" he asked surprised.
"I've managed to collect a few things here and there. I got the specs for the Kuna from the main
computer." she said, obviously quite proud of herself. "You did tell me once I'd need to put
together my own, so I have."
Sitting opposite her at the table he watched as she opened her medicine bundle. After she had it's
contents set up to her liking, Chakotay guided her hand to the Kuna. He kept his hand on hers and
in a strong soothing voice began the ritual.
"Akucheemoya, we are far from the sacred places of our ancient grandfather's. Far from the bones
of our people. Perhaps there is one powerful being that will help guide this woman, to give her the
answers she seeks. Close your eyes breathe slowly deeply  to fuel the light until it is all
around you. Allow yourself to leave your body to leave this room the ship, and go to the one
place you were most at peace."
The Captain immediately recognized where she was. The air was sweet and the sun warm against
her skin. She was surrounded by lush green vegetation. Turning slowly, she saw her animal guide
sunning itself on a downed tree. Bending down to greet him, something caught her attention out
of the corner of her eye. A few feet away was a large wolf.
Chakotay was standing next to the modular house he constructed on New Earth. On his right he
saw the overgrown garden Kathryn planted so many years ago. Turning, he saw the bathtub he
had made, his animal guide, and Kathryn. He walked over to where she was standing, his mind
racing.
"Chakotay, why are you here?" she asked a bit alarmed.
"That's a good question. This is unlike any vision I've ever had. I've had conversations with spirits,
never with the living. I've heard no ancient stories or myth's suggesting a shared vision is even
possible. They are always personal, you don't even speak of your animal guide openly for fear of
offending it."
"But here we are." she said looking at the guides. "They don't seem offended to me." They were
right next to one another watching them.
"The fact that they have not run off and our consciences returned to your quarters means they are
not offended. Our guides must share the same Pakata." he explained. "They are not natural
enemies in the animal kingdom so that allows them to be compatible in the same vision."
She was about to respond when she sensed a soothing presence in her mind.
"Kathryn, I have been waiting for your return" her guide said. *Telepathy* she thought.
"Yes, it is the only way we can communicate." he told her. The concept of communication with
the spirit world fascinated her.
"Do you have a name?" she asked.
"I have no name here, call me what you wish."
"I have many questions."
"Ask your questions."
"How did you become a guide, and why in this form?"
"I was once a sentient being much like yourself. I was guided through that journey as my
ancestors were before me. You call it destiny. Not all guides take this form. Your species long
ago adopted the form of indigenous creatures to guide them, as did mine. With that in common, I
can guide you along your journey. Understand, there is no absolution. It is up to you to use what
you are given. I will not judge you, nor will I interfere with your choices."
"Do you know my destiny?"
"It is a paradox, it cannot be explained, therefore, it cannot be understood. I can guide you
concerning the emotional elements of your journey. I cannot, for instance, tell you the results of a
decision you've made. Kathryn, you are avoiding the real issue you seek to resolve, I sense the
conflict. You deny your emotional wellbeing for fear of persecution. Let yourself go. I will tell
you this, on your journey you are not alone you become one."
"Become one" she whispered.
"Don't deny what you already know." he said as the vision began to fade.
"Chakotay, it has been a long time." his guide said.
"Yes Ahwhanee, it has."
"This is the Kathryn?" she asked. "You were correct, she is very strong."
"Yes, I know all to well. Ahwhanee, how is this possible? I've always believed visions were
personal, never shared."
"Don't turn your back on the discoveries you make on your journey, Chakotay. Not everything
you have been taught is the only truth. Your visions up to this point, have only been the beginning
of what is possible. Much of what has been passed down by your ancestors, was their perception
of the truth. This 'shared' vision, as you call it, has been achieved by your species before. They had
limited scope and perceived the visions as evil. Their fear prevented them from achieving new
levels of understanding."
"Why haven't you told me this before now?" he asked feeling a bit betrayed.
"The situation never presented itself before now. I've known this day was coming. You know as
well as I, that you dictate the direction of your visions. You made an unconscious discovery
today, and I will guide you to understanding."
"How did I uh, we, achieve this shared vision today?" he asked feeling better. He knew what she
said was the truth.
"Many factors were involved in your discovery, herbs you ingested, physical contact while using
the Kuna device."
"The replicator program " he said more to himself.
"Yes, but the most significant reason  carboth of your journey's share the same path. Part of your
ritual to achieve your visions, you ask yourselves to, 'go to the one place you were most at peace'.
You both were most at peace here, in a place you shared together several years ago. I am curious,
you are such a strong character, standing up for that you believe to be true. Yet, when it comes to
telling Kathryn your feelings, you are apprehensive and timid."
"I haven't had the opportunity to discuss with her how I feel. And until recently, she has had
another." he said sheepishly.
"Chakotay, you have told me in the past of your desire to share your journey with this woman. I
can see the experiences and interactions you've shared from your memories, and you are hiding
behind excuses. Opportunities you have had. What you have not had is the nerve to approach the
subject with her. What you should be asking yourself is, why?"
He held his head down in shame, she was right, he had been looking for every reason not to
discuss his feelings with her. *Why didn't I figure this out myself? I've had so many
opportunities.* On New Earth, he had months to approach her. Near the end of their stay, they
had both come to the conclusion they would spend the rest of their lives together. He had many
opportunities on Voyager as well. In Kathryn's ready room, the night she told him of Mark's
marriage. He felt at the time she was too vulnerable, and just needed a shoulder, when she may
have been reaching out to him. After all, she could of gone to someone else, yet it was him she
chose to tell. *Enough with the excuses* he thought.
"That's better" his guide said. "Chakotay, as I have told you before, you become one." The vision
began to fade.
They were once again sitting across from one another in the Captain's quarters. Like a slap in the
face it hit her. It was so obvious, her guide was referring to Chakotay. Kathryn's mind whirled.
Feelings that were buried deep down came rushing to the surface. She thought of their time spent
on New Earth alone together. Even under such tragic circumstances, she was content there with
him. Chakotay went above and beyond the call of duty to make their life in exile comfortable. She
would never forget the tub he made her, the massages, and how safe she felt in his arms during
the plasma storms. She couldn't deny she had mixed feelings, when it was learned Voyager was
returning with a cure. Along with the positive memories were her usual arguments against
pursuing the relationship. Acting on these feelings was not appropriate behavior for a Starfleet
Captain. Starship Captain's can't have relationships with their first officer's and expect to maintain
the discipline and respect needed to run the ship.
The letter from Mark was devastating . In his eyes she was gone, never to return. How could she
have expected him to wait? If she had been in the same situation, she might have done the same
thing. She could not use Mark as an excuse any longer, she was free. Initially, Voyager's mission
was a short one. Since their abduction from the Badlands, their routine voyage had become quite
unique. With each passing day it was becoming more possible that it would take the rest of their
lives to get home.
"You become one don't deny what you already know." her guide had said.
It was true, she was in denial. It would no doubt be difficult to balance a relationship and duty.
Certainly no more difficult than the obstacles of the past four years. There were to be no more
excuses.
"Kathryn, are you alright?" Chakotay asked.
"Yes, I'm curious, why did it end?"
"Your guide must have sensed the reason for your quest had been resolved." She realized they
were holding hands. She stood up and led him to the couch. *Whatever happened in that vision
moved her deeply* he thought. Her head was spinning and she was nervous. Expressing her
innermost feelings was never her strong suit, and giving in would be just another excuse. She
looked him in the eyes.
"Chakotay, do you remember the time we spent on New Earth?"
"Yes, it's not something you easily forget."
"Late one night you told me a story, a story about an angry warrior. "
"Yes, I remember."
"I remember it well, I've never forgotten it. It was a story about a man who lived his life in
conflict with the rest of his tribe. Who could not find peace. The only satisfaction he got was from
battle, and was considered a hero among his tribe. All he longed for was peace within himself.
One day, he and his party were captured by a neighboring tribe led by a female warrior. She called
on him to join her because her tribe was too small and weak to defend itself. She was brave,
beautiful and wise. The angry warrior swore he would stay by her side, doing whatever it took to
make her burden lighter. From that point on, her needs would come first, and in that way the
warrior began to know the true meaning of peace. Chakotay, that's the most beautiful thing
anyone ever said to me."
"I can't believe you remember that in such detail.", he said obviously moved. "Kathryn, it's true
more today than when I said it."
"There is a part of me that has known for years how you felt. I have been hiding behind rules,
regulations and the fear of the unknown. Some explorer you got here, huh?" she smirked.
"Chakotay, I promise you, no more excuses, no more " she whispered. Putting her hands on his
cheeks, she pulled him to her lips. She let her arms slip down to his shoulders.
"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that." he said his voice just above a
whisper, "Kathryn, I love you. I've wanted to tell you a million times and always found a reason
not to. We've wasted too much time hiding behind our ancient beliefs. That ends here, tonight. I
promise you my love, you will never be alone again." She had a lump in her throat and she could
feel her eyes welling up. *Don't cry now* she told herself.
"I love you too, Chakotay. I can't believe how foolish I've been." Again their lips met. This time
he pulled her in close for a more passionate embrace.
                            ********
They laid on her bed holding one another for what seemed like hours. Having declared their love,
few words needed to be said. So many nights he had been alone in his quarters dreaming of this
moment. Now, that moment was here, and his dreams were no match for the joy he felt. He
wanted to make love to her. There was no doubt of their love for one another, yet, when he
looked down upon her sleeping body he knew it was not to be. What Kathryn needed tonight was
to be caressed with spirituality and tenderness. And when she felt assured he was sincere, then
perhaps, the time would be right. The angry warrior knew the true meaning of peace.
 
*The Enlightening*
Part 2
Tuvok got off the turbo lift and walked down the corridor to Cargo Bay 2. Since it was
considered crew quarters now, he pushed the button on the door and waited for Seven to answer.
There was none, so he tried again. Still no answer.
"Computer locate Seven on Nine."
"Seven of Nine is in Ensign Kim's quarters."
"Ensign Kim's quarters?" Tuvok said to himself. But the computer answered, "Yes." Tuvok raised
a somewhat annoyed eyebrow. Then turned and headed to Harry's quarters. A few minutes later
he was standing outside Harry's door. For a split second he wondered if something was going on
that maybe he should not interrupt. But then he decided to go ahead and see what was going on.
He rang Harry's door and waited. Inside, Harry woke up instantly. He glanced over at Seven. She
was still asleep. *Boy she must be exhausted* he thought. Pulling on his robe, he got up and went
to the door.
"Commander Tuvok." he said in surprise. He lowered his voice, "What can I do for you?"
"Ensign, I know your personal business is your own affair, but may I ask what you are doing with
Seven of Nine in your quarters at this hour?" Harry took Tuvok by the arm and walked out into
the corridor letting the door close behind them. Then he realized he was in his robe.
"Tuvok, this isn't what it looks like." He prayed Tom didn't walk down the hall. He'd never live it
down.
"I'm waiting for an explanation Ensign Kim."
"It's a long story Tuvok. Look, if we go back into my quarters will you keep your voice down,
please. We can go into my bedroom and talk, but I don't want to wake her up."
"Very well Mr. Kim, lead the way." Harry keyed the door to open and they went back into his
quarters. Tuvok glanced at the sleeping Seven of Nine as they walked by. When his bedroom door
was closed, Harry launched into his story and told him about Seven decking him, then running off
crying, and how he found her in her Cargo Bay 2.
"Tuvok, I didn't know what else to do, so I brought her here. I couldn't just leave her there on the
floor, crying."
"I understand Ensign. You did the right thing by not leaving her alone, but you should have
reported this to the Captain."
"Tuvok, all that would have done is make the situation worse. She was already upset, and she
thinks she's let the Captain down. With the mood the Captain has been in lately, the last thing
Seven needs is a lecture from her."
"I see, you may be right Mr. Kim. What did you talk about, if I may ask?"
"Oh, nothing secret. Tuvok, she's going through puberty, and she's having a hard time handling
the emotions and feelings she's having. No one seems to understand this. She looks like a full
grown human adult physically, but emotionally I'd guess she's at a 14 or 15 year old level. And
she's reacting to it with a little more intensity then the average human." He rubbed his jaw as he
said it.
"That is exactly what the Doctor told the Captain."
"He didn't tell her about what Seven did to me did he?"
"No, he hasn't. But he had a good idea that this was going on even before she hit you. The
Captain has asked me to talk with her and see if I can help her control some of these emotions."
"Right now? Tuvok, can't it wait till morning?" Tuvok was about to say something, when they
heard a panicky voice coming from the other room.
"Ensign Kim Harry?" Harry was up off the bed and out the door at warp speed. Tuvok was
right behind him, although at not such a breakneck pace. She had propped herself up on her
elbow, looking around franticly.
"Easy Seven, I'm here, everything's all right. He sat on the edge of the couch and eased her back
down on the pillow. "Now what's wrong?" Harry asked gently. Tuvok stood at the door and
watched. She had not seen him yet.
"I heard voices. I thought, I thought I was back in the Collective, that I'd been assimilated again.
Then I woke up and you were gone and I,- "
"It was just a bad dream, you're safe." he told her. Then she spotted Tuvok.
"What's he doing here?" the panic crept back into her voice.
"He just want's to talk to you Seven. The Captain thought maybe he could help you."
"NO, no, I don't want him to touch me. Harry don't let him touch me, please." She was shaking
and in tears again.
"It's all right, Tuvok won't hurt you. He just want's to help you." Harry looked at the Vulcan for
some kind of support. He slowly walked over to Seven and bent down. She shrank back into
Harry's arms, trying to hide.
"Seven of Nine, I won't touch you, or hurt you in any way. I only want to talk to you." She
peered out at him from the shelter of Harry's arms still trembling.
"No, I don't want to talk to you, only Harry," Then she said something that surprised both men.
"or the Captain." Harry looked down at her in disbelief, and Tuvok's eyebrow shot to the ceiling.
Tuvok got up and went to stand by the door, where he waited patiently for Harry.
"Seven, it's all right, I'll be right back, I'm just going to let Tuvok out." This soothed her enough
to get her to let go of him. He got up and went to the door.
"Tuvok, I don't know what's gotten into her."
"Nor do I, Ensign. I will talk to the Captain, but considering the late hour, it will have to wait till
morning. Do you mind keeping her here tonight?"
"Not at all. Maybe I can figure out what's wrong, and why she won't talk to you."
"Very well. Are you on duty tomorrow morning?"
"Yes, I am."
"That could pose a problem. I don't want her left alone I will take care of getting someone to
take your shift. Stay with Seven."
"Yes sir. Sir, what do you think the Captain will say when she hears about all this?"
"I don't even want to hazard a guess Ensign, but I'm sure it will be interesting. Good night Mr.
Kim"
"Good night Commander." The door slid shut and Harry went back to the couch. Seven was still
trembling and watching everything that went on. Harry sat down on the edge of the couch again
and gently brushed back some of her hair that had fallen in her face. "Why don't you let me take
your hair down for the night, you'll be more comfortable. Here, just turn your head a little." She
did and he carefully took her hair down. For a minute it took him back, back to a time when he
used to do the same thing for Libby. He gently stroked Seven's hair and then he realized what he
was doing. He looked down at her. Her eyes were shut and her breathing was becoming deep and
regular. She was almost asleep again. He sat there for a while and just watched her sleep. *What
could have spooked her so badly that she wouldn't even talk with Tuvok? Maybe she'd be in a
better frame of mind to talk about it in the morning* He got up and went back to his chair. *I
wonder if it had something to do with her dream?* he thought. He closed his eyes and fell asleep,
dreaming of a blonde Libby.
________________________________________________________________________
The Captain woke up and yawned, glanced at the clock and saw it was 0800 hrs. already. She was
still in Chakotay's arms. A smile came over her face. *This time it wasn't a dream* she thought.
Lying with her back to him, she rolled over gently so not to wake him. "My god, is he gorgeous!",
she said louder than she intended. Her heart was racing. She always thought he was an attractive
man, but that couldn't compare to waking up next to him. She slipped out of bed and quietly made
her way to the bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror, she couldn't help but notice she had
that old sparkle in her eyes, and color in her cheeks. "I haven't looked this good, this early in
years.", she said to herself, amused. For years every morning she went into the bathroom, looked
herself in the mirror, and would construct a wall. A wall so impenetrable that no one could get in,
and she couldn't get out, until last night. Never having been
a spiritual person, she never imagined it would be so enlightening. Her lifetime of self doubt, and
the heavy burdens she carried, were lifted away in just a few minutes. She was free.
Showered and dressed in a clean uniform, she walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom. Her
bed was made and her room had been picked up. *My mother would have loved this. He's polite,
attractive and fully trained* she thought smiling. Her eyes lit up. She smelled coffee.
She walked into the living room and saw Chakotay with his back to her, buzzing around the table.
"Good morning" she said absolutely beaming. He turned and stepped to the side revealing a neatly
set, candle lit table with two steaming cups of coffee. He walked toward her with one hand behind
his back.
"Good morning Kathryn" he said smiling from ear to ear. As he approached, he brought his hand
out from behind his back, and presented her with one long stemmed peace rose. She took the rose
from him as he nuzzled her neck. Whispering to her he said, "It's beauty pales next to you, my
love." She had goose bumps. She was ready to kick herself again for denying herself this all these
years. She noticed he was clean, smelled good and his uniform was freshly pressed.
"Chakotay, I left you in bed asleep. When did you find the time to do all this?"
"You'll find I'm full of surprises." he boasted. "When you got up to shower, I got up and went to
my quarters. I showered, changed and went to the Hydroponic garden to get the rose." They
turned and headed for the table. He pulled out her chair to seat her, then sat down himself.
"This is beautiful" she said as she sipped her coffee.
"Thank you, do you want something to eat?"
"I'm sorry Chakotay, I can't. I forgot to tell you last night, I have a date this morning." she said
playfully. "He just doesn't know it yet."
"Do you think he's as gorgeous as you find me?" he asked unable to contain his laughter.
"You heard that? I thought you were asleep!" she said, belting him on the shoulder. He was
hysterical now, and she laughed as well, but could feel the heat of embarrassment creeping up
from her neck to her cheeks. "Oooh, you're incorrigible" was all she managed to say.
"I wasn't going to say anything, but you set yourself up."
"Yes, well, I suppose I did." She took another sip of her coffee. "I'm going to have breakfast with
Neelix. He had some valid points yesterday, and I bit his head off before he got started." He
leaned toward her and brushed the back of his hand against her cheek.
"Go have breakfast with Neelix, I'll take care of this." he motioned toward the dishes. They got up
and headed for the door. "I'll see you later on the bridge."
"Chakotay, thank you for last night. You were a gentleman and I want you to know I appreciate
it."
"It was my pleasure, Kathryn. Dinner tonight?"
"Tonight, tomorrow night, and the night after that." She put her arms around him and kissed him.
Motioning toward the table she said, "I knew you were a romantic, but that is a classic."
"You better get going or we'll never get any work done today."
"You know, this is the first time I've wanted to play hooky in a long time." She gave him a quick
kiss and left her quarters, happier than she had ever been.
________________________________________________________________________
The door to her quarters had barely wooshed shut behind her, when her combadge beeped.
"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."
"Yes Tuvok, what can I do for you?" Tuvok heard the light tone in her voice and wondered what
magic Chakotay had woven the night before.
"Captain, we have a problem with Seven of Nine. Are you coming up to the bridge soon?"
"I'm on my way right now Tuvok. What kind of problem?" She walked into the turbo lift.
"Bridge."
"I'd rather discuss it with you in your ready room Captain."
"All right Tuvok, go on in and I'll be right there." A minute later the doors opened and she walked
onto the bridge. She was about to turn the bridge over to Harry when she noticed he wasn't there.
She could have sworn he was on duty this morning.
"Mr. Paris, I'll be in my ready room. You have the bridge."
"Yes Captain." He turned to look at her as he said it and noticed the little smile on her face. He
chuckled to himself as the ready room door closed behind her. *When is Harry gonna learn not to
make bets with me when it comes to the Captain and Chakotay?* he thought. He realized he
would have enough replicator rations now to last the rest of the month.
Janeway walked in and sat down at her desk. Tuvok was already waiting patiently across from
her. There was a steaming cup of coffee waiting also. Even though she was concerned about
whatever problem Seven had this time, she was touched that Tuvok had a cup of coffee waiting
for her. She took a sip and then gave him her undivided attention.
"Good morning Tuvok, and thanks for the coffee."
"Good morning Captain. I assumed you would want one."
"You assumed right. Now what trouble is Seven in this time?"
"It's not so much that she is in trouble Captain, as it is that she is having trouble right now with
handling her emotions."
"Yes Tuvok, we talked about this yesterday. Did you get a chance to talk to her?"
"Yes and no Captain."
"Tuvok it's not like you to by so cryptic. Now what's going on?"
Tuvok debated on telling her about the incident in Stellar Cartography. Ensign Kim had not said
he couldn't tell her and at this point it was important for the Captain to have all the details. And on
top of everything else, she did seem to be in a much better mood.
"Captain, yesterday when you sent Ensign Kim to take care of the diagnostic on the sensor array,
Seven hit him and broke his jaw."
"My God, is he all right?"
"Yes, he's fine."
"Is Seven in the brig, and why wasn't I notified of this?" Her tone had a tinge of anger in it.
"Seven of Nine is not in the brig, and you were not notified because Ensign Kim would not let the
Doctor report it. What you don't know is that after she hit him, Seven of Nine ran out of Stellar
Cartography crying. When Ensign Kim was done in sick bay, he found her in Cargo Bay 2 sitting
on the floor behind some crates sobbing." When Janeway was finally able to scrape her jaw up off
her desk she said, "Crying? Seven?"
"Yes Captain."
"Did Harry take her to sick bay?"
"No, he talked with her for a few minutes and then took her back to his quarters."
"He what?" She couldn't believe her ears. This just wasn't like Harry. Tom yes. But Harry?
"Tuvok, where is Seven now?"
"Still In Ensign Kim's quarters." She was taking a sip of her coffee, and when he said that she
almost choked on it. "You see Captain, after I talked to you I went looking for Seven of Nine.
When she wasn't in Cargo Bay 2, I asked the computer to locate her. That is when I found out
where she was. When I got to Ensign Kim's quarters, she was asleep on his couch." At this point
Janeway thought nothing could ever shock her again. "I asked Ensign Kim what was going on and
he explained what had happened and that she had fallen asleep on his couch. I wanted to talk to
her but he asked if it could wait till morning. I decided that I should talk to you about the situation
anyway, so I was about to agree to Ensign Kim's wishes when Seven woke up."
"Oh, so you did get to talk to her after all?" She started to relax a little. So far this seemed to be
headed in her direction and she really didn't want that.
"No Captain."
"No?"
"I tried, but the minute she saw me she became hysterical." The Captain sighed and took another
sip of her coffee. Suddenly her wonderful morning was turning into a sweet memory and she was
on the way to getting a whopper of a headache.
"Tuvok are you sure we're talking about the same Borg?"
"Captain, I couldn't believe it myself. I have always had a good relationship with Seven of Nine,
but last night, for some reason, she would hardly look at me, much less talk to me or let me even
come close to her. It was then that she said something that surprised me. She said she didn't want
to talk to me. Only Ensign Kim or you." Janeway groaned and put her head in her hands. She
finally looked up and said, "What happened next?"
"I went to the door and waited while Ensign Kim calmed her down. We decided to let her stay
there for the night. She seemed calm around the Ensign and I didn't want to leave her alone or try
to force her to go to sick bay. At that point it would have done more harm then good."
"So what all this boils down to is that we have an emotionally distraught Borg who won't talk to
anyone but Harry or me. Is that what you're saying?"
"It appears so Captain. I tried to warn you yesterday, I really believe this should have come from
you." She sighed and sat back in her chair looking at him.
"Oh Tuvok, I hate it when your right."
"In this case Captain, I regret that I am also." She smiled at her old friend.
"Well, thanks for trying. You have the bridge till Chakotay gets up here, dismissed."
"Yes Captain." And he left the ready room.
 
*The Enlightening*
Part 3
The Captain walked into the mess hall just as Neelix was starting to clean up.
"Good morning Neelix."
"Why Captain, good morning. My, you're on the late side this morning. I don't have much left for
breakfast, but I'm sure I " she smiled at his obvious befuddlement.
"Neelix, I'm sure whatever you have left will be fine. Have you eaten yet?"
"Why no Captain, I usually wait till I get everything clean and picked up."
"Well that's good. Then maybe we could have that breakfast together after all."
"Why of course Captain, please go have a seat and I'll be right over." He bustled off to get some
kind of breakfast prepared for them. She kept her fingers crossed. She had run out of replicator
rations and Neelix was the only show in town at the moment. She sat down and waited patiently
for him to come up with something. It took about ten minutes but it turned out to be worth the
wait. You just never knew when you were going to get lucky and get a good meal with Neelix.
He brought out some coffee and two servings of some kind of omelet. It looked delicious and
tasted even better.
"Neelix, this is wonderful."
"I'm glad you like it Captain. Can I get you some more?"
"Maybe just a little bit, I am kind of hungry this morning."
"That's probably because you've been eating like a bird lately. Captain, sometimes I worry about
you. You don't take care of yourself.", he said as he got up to get her second helping.
"Neelix, I'm a big girl. I think I can take care of myself."
"Well, I still worry about you." He set the plate of food down in front of her. "Can I get you some
more coffee?"
"Yes, please." Finally when he was sitting down again she decided to get to the point. "Neelix,
first, I want to apologize for being so short with you yesterday. I know you were just trying to
help. I was just so tired and frazzled, that I took it out on the first person to come along, and that
was you."
"Captain, no need to apologize. But that is a prime example of what I mean, you work harder
than anyone else, yet, you're the last one to take any shore leave or R & R. And just by looking at
you I can tell when you haven't been getting enough sleep." She had to smile at his outright
concern, and it touched her that he was so aware of her physical wellbeing. Maybe it had
something to do with Kes, since her departure, he had turned his attentions toward her. She
supposed there could be worse things to happen to her. Maybe he was right. She had been
burning the candle at both ends lately, and there was only so much coffee, even she could drink.
"Maybe you're right Neelix." She took a bite of her omelet. "So, what do you want to do about
it?"
"Well Captain, I just think this crew needs some kind of organized activity. Something to channel
their energies away from arguing in here. And out and out brawling in Sandrines. You know, it
was the Doctor who came to me first. He was getting concerned with all the black eyes and
bruises he was being asked to heal. When he asked them how they got hurt, it was always some
lame excuse like, I walked into a wall or I fell out of bed." The Captain sat quietly and listened as
she ate. Finally she asked him,
"Do you have something special in mind Neelix?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact I do. I thought some kind of team sport would make an interesting past
time."
"Well we've tried that before Neelix, it didn't work too well."
"Yes Captain, but with contemporary sports. What I have in mind is totally new to most of the
crew, with the exception of Tom. And the neat part of is, it's a wonderful spectator sport too.
Those who don't want to play can have as much fun watching the game."
"Why am I not surprised?" she said with a smile on her face. If Tom was involved, it had to be
interesting. "Are you going to tell me what you have in mind, or keep me in suspense and drive
me crazy?"
"You don't need my help for that" he said. They both laughed a little at that.
"What sport have you come up with?" she asked.
"Well, we got the idea when we went back in time to Earth after the time ship. I saw this sport on,
oh what did they call it? I can never remember it. Kes always reminded me of it. Oh, oh yes, I saw
it on television."
"Neelix, you're driving me crazy."
"Oh, I'm sorry Captain. The sport I'm thinking about is Baseball."
"Baseball, yes, I've heard of it. Benjamin Sisko is a big baseball fan."
"Benjamin Sisko? I'm sorry Captain, I don't think I've ever met him."
"No need to be sorry Neelix, you couldn't have met him. He's in charge of Deep Space Nine, the
space station Voyager launched from when we left for the Badlands. I remember seeing a baseball
on his desk and asking him what it was. He gave me a very detailed explanation of the game, and
then took me to one he had recreated on a holodeck. And you're right, once I learned a little
about the game it was fun to watch. It's a shame that it didn't last. I believe it used to be called the
Great American Past Time."
"Well then, what do you say? Can I get started on it?"
"Well, I don't see why not?" She took the last bite of her breakfast. "Keep me informed on your
progress. And I want to throw out the first pitch at your first game."
"Captain, you have a deal." She got up and gave Neelix a quick hug. *Whatever Chakotay said
yesterday seems to have done the trick, she's a new woman* he thought
"Thanks Neelix, sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you." And she left the mess hall
leaving behind a very happy Talaxian.
________________________________________________________________________
Harry woke up to the door beeping again. He glanced over at Seven, and saw she was still asleep.
He wondered if she was feeling all right. He'd never known her to sleep like this. He got up and
went to the door expecting it to be Tuvok. When he saw the Captain standing there he almost
panicked and came close to closing the door on her.
"Harry?" she said looking at him in his pajamas. "I hear you have a house guest?"
"Ah Captain, yes, I guess you could call it that. Please, come in." He stood back and let her in.
Immediately she spotted Seven of Nine on the couch still asleep. She noticed the blanket and
pillow on the chair also. She looked at Harry and smiled. *I don't know what I was worried
about* she thought.
Then she walked over to the couch and sat down on the edge. "Seven," she said softly. "Come on
Seven, time to wake up." Seven stirred and opened her eyes. She looked up at the Captain for a
minute in confusion. She gently reached out and brushed some hair from Seven's face. To Harry
she looked almost like a mother with her daughter.
"Captain, I-" She shot a scared look at Harry.
"It's all right Seven, I know the whole story. Everything's going to be OK." The Captain smiled
and brushed some more of her hair back. Seven lost the frightened look and started to cry again.
The Captain gathered her in her arms and held her as she wept. She glanced up at Harry.
"Ah, I'm going to go jump in the shower and get ready for duty Captain."
"Go ahead Harry. I think I can handle things here for a while." Harry disappeared into his
bedroom and shut the door. Janeway held Seven and gently rocked her as she cried. "There, there,
it's all right Seven." She sensed that what the former Borg needed right now was just to be held.
Thinking back she remembered a few times herself, bawling her eyes out in her mother's arms.
She didn't want to talk about whatever the problem was, she just needed her mother to hold her.
That was what Seven needed now. *I guess I am going to be surrogate mom for a Borg after all*
she thought. Finally, Seven's sobs slowed and she started to pull away from the Captain. The
tissue was on the coffee table. Janeway handed her the box.
"Feel better?" Seven managed a small nod. "Good, now dry your eyes and come with me."
"Where where are we going?"
"Back to my quarters for a while. We've taken up enough of Ensign Kim's time." She got up and
knocked on Harry's bedroom door. "Harry?"
"Yes Captain" she heard through the door. A minute later it opened and he stood there in a clean
uniform.
"Harry, I'm taking Seven back to my quarters for a while. Inform Tuvok, and ask Chakotay to be
prepared to join us in a couple of hours. Tell him I'll call him when we're ready."
"Yes Captain."
"And Harry, thanks. You handled things very well." He smiled at her, then he went over to Seven.
She was still sitting on the couch. Bending down he looked at her.
"Are you OK now?"
"I think so. Thank you Harry." He smiled and reaching out gave her a little hug. He was
surprised when she hugged back. Then she and the Captain left.
When they got to her quarters Janeway sat Seven down on the couch then tapping her combadge,
she called the bridge.
"Janeway to Chakotay."
"Yes Captain."
"Chakotay, I don't want to be disturbed unless it's an emergency."
"Yes Captain, understood."
"Thank you Commander, I'll be calling you in a little while, Janeway out." She sat down next to
Seven and reached out and took her hand. "Seven, what's wrong?"
"I don't know Captain. Lately, I have been having trouble controlling myself. I go into these
periods where I feel like I could kill whoever is with me. And sometimes, I feel so alone. I want to
be around the rest of the crew, but I just don't know how. One minute I'm glad you kept me, and
that I'm on board Voyager, and the next, I wish you'd sent me back to the Borg. I'm so confused,
I don't know how to feel. I don't know who I am. What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing's wrong with you Seven. You're just going through a period of your life that every
young person goes through. The hard part, for you, is that it should have happened a while ago.
Being Borg, these feelings and emotions were suppressed. Now they're all trying to surface at one
time."
"What do I do Captain? How do I control them?"
"Well, I think the Doctor can help you to some extent, but that's not the total answer. You need
to learn to relax a little. All work and no play makes for an unhappy Borg." She smiled, and Seven
actually smiled back. "I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm guilty of doing the same thing. We both
need to loosen up a little. Tell you what, why don't we cut your duty time for a little while." She
saw the worried look come back to Seven's face. "But you don't have to spend all your free time
in the cargo bay. In fact maybe B 'Elanna can rig up a regeneration module for you in one of the
regular crew quarters. I hate to see you down there all by yourself. And I'll try and free up my
schedule so you and I can spend some time together off duty. You know Neelix was telling me
about wanting to start a couple of baseball teams. Maybe we could try out for them."
"Baseball?"
"It's a team sport. A game. It sounds like it could be fun. Trust me. At any rate, we both need
something to get our minds off the job. Also, you might want to talk to Chakotay. He's been very
helpful to me in finding out 'who I am'" She looked at Seven. "Does what I've said make any sense
to you?" Seven nodded yes. "Now, tell me what's wrong between you and Tuvok? He told me
you seemed terrified of him last night."
"I know, I'm sorry, I had a dream while I was at Harry's, Ensign Kim's."
"You can call him Harry, Seven. We all do. Go on."
"Well, I don't know why, but in my dream I was being assimilated by the Borg again. This time
one of the Borg was a Vulcan, and it looked like Commander Tuvok. I realize now how irrational
I was being, but I was just terrified last night. I will apologize to him."
"Well, I think he understands that something had you very upset, but if it makes you feel better,
go ahead. It might help you to talk to him too. Only if you feel comfortable though."
"I will talk to the Commander about the whole incident. Maybe he can help me find out why I was
so afraid of him." Janeway smiled. She looked at Seven for a moment. She looked awful. Tired,
sweaty. What she needed was a bath.
"Seven, you know what helps me relax and unwind?"
"What?"
"A nice long soak in a warm tub." Seven looked at her, puzzled. "A bath, Seven, a bath."
"I'm sorry Captain, I have never "
"Oh, well then it's long overdue. Come with me, you're in for the treat of your life."
A half hour later, she had Seven in her bathroom soaking in a French Vanilla and Pear bubble
bath. She left her alone and went out into her living room.
"Janeway to bridge."
"Chakotay here Captain."
"Chakotay, will you please come down to my quarters in about an hour. Oh, and bring your
medicine bundle."
"Of course Captain, about an hour. " She could hear the questions in his voice but he asked
nothing.
"Thank you Commander, Janeway out." Her day seemed to be taking a turn for the better all of a
sudden. She got herself a cup of coffee, and sat down to enjoy it while her adopted daughter
experienced her first bubble bath.
 
 
With Seven in the tub, the Captain made arrangements with B'Ellana to make Seven's new
quarters a priority. She didn't want her in Cargo Bay 2 another night, especially now, in her fragile
condition. She suspected part of Seven's problem was she felt alienated living alone in the bowels
of the ship. Loneliness could reek havoc with the healthiest of psyches. If she were treated more
like the rest of the crew, she may start feeling she was a member of the crew.
"Janeway to the Doctor."
"Sick Bay here."
"How are you coming along with your research into Seven's problem?"
"I believe I have an answer, or part of one anyway. Several of her sub processors are
overcompensating for the increased hormone levels. That would explain the violent behavior.
Those same sub processors don't recognize certain chemicals, and are periodically shutting down
altogether. That explains her fits of uncontrolled crying and feelings of loneliness. I'll be able to
compensate for some of this imbalance by adjusting her implants, however, this is not the entire
answer."
"I have her relaxing in my bathtub, and for the most part, seem to have the situation under control
for now. I may have the rest of this puzzle worked out as well. Put together what you need to
make the adjustments and come to my quarters. Oh, and Doctor, good work."
"Thank you Captain."
Ten minutes later.
The Captain was sitting on her couch finishing her coffee, reliving the past twelve hours when the
door chime sounded. "Come in" The Doctor walked in carrying his medical bag. Followed closely
behind by Chakotay.
"Captain" the Doctor said with a nod.
"Doctor, thank you for being so prompt. Chakotay, will you set up your medicine bundle on the
table? After I get Seven out of the tub, we're going to get to the bottom of this, once and for all."
The doctor was just about to join the Captain on the couch when they heard splashing. Seconds
later, Seven emerged from the bathroom, soaking wet and naked.
"Captain, oh, Doctor, Chakotay, I didn't realize you were all here." she said making no attempt to
cover herself. "My skin is wrin scr and I am cold. Can I stop relaxing now?"
"I see you have everything under control" the Doctor said sarcastically. "Instead of beating up the
crew, she's running around your quarters newd."
"Doctor, please." she said not amused. "Of course Seven, let's get you dry, and get you something
to wear."
"Captain, I didn't see a towel, and didn't think it was appropriate to search through your closets."
she said.
"Human Interaction tape 4, chapter 6, 'The do's and dont's when visiting', she's a quick study." the
Doctor said to Chakotay proudly.
"Perhaps her next lesson should be 'Human Modesty, tape 1, chapter 1." Chakotay said smiling.
The Doctor gave him a smug look.
The Captain whisked Seven back into the bathroom. They emerged a few minutes later, Seven
was dry and wearing a robe. Chakotay was at the table getting his medicine bundle ready, while
Seven, the Doctor and the Captain were on the couch. Using several devices from his medical
bag, he had the calibrations made to her implants in a few minutes. Seven could immediately feel
the difference. When the Doctor was finished, the Captain dismissed him.
"Captain, if you don't mind, I'd like to stay for the ritual."
"Of course Doctor, that's a good precaution." Chakotay walked over to the couch.
"Seven, are you familiar with ancient North American Indian rituals?" he asked.
"Since you have your medicine bundle displayed on the table, am I to assume we are going to
attempt to contact my animal guide?"
"I had no idea you were aware of our history."
"I was Borg Commander. The collective found human spiritual beliefs insignificant. I, however,
am curious and will cooperate in this quest."
"Good, then let's begin." the Captain said. With everyone sitting around the table, Chakotay
explained to Seven what to do, and when she was ready began the ritual.
"Akuchemoya, we are far from the sacred places "
When her vision cleared, she became aware she was standing on the bridge of a Federation ship. It
was the USS Raven, the ship she and her parents were traveling in when they encountered the
borg. The ship was undamaged, and she was at ease considering what would take place aboard
this ship.
"Look for an animal" she could hear Chakotay say from the distance. "The first animal you see
will be your guide." Seven walked around the bridge looking for her guide. She walked to the
conn and tried to access the computer, but there was no response. Seven took the turbo lift to
deck 5, the crew quarters. Stepping off the lift she saw a large moose standing in the corridor
staring at her.
"Annika, I have been expecting you." her guide said telepathically.
"How do you know that is my name? Why were you expecting me, the vision was the Captain's
idea?" she asked aloud.
I know what you know, even that you do not remember. As for your Captain, she was just with
us. We saw it was her destiny that she bring you to us, just as it was Chakotay's to introduce us to
her. Annika, we can help you with your quest to regain your humanity. When the borg assimilated
you, your memories and knowledge was shared throughout the Collective. However, what you
were, and what you were to become always remained within you. You were freed and became
human again while still on your journey. Every Borg drone at the end of their lives return to fulfill
what they once were. The Collective searches the galaxy to acquire knowledge and technology,
but what they need so desperately they will not find. In the assimilation process they ignore what
is most precious, individuality, spirituality and faith in one's beliefs. Those elements are what make
a species strong and allow them to prosper. They will never achieve this, for they don't see their
relevance. They are doomed as a race and will never know why. In their desperation for survival,
they will acquire even more technology through assimilation, and slowly die from within."
Seven was mesmerized by her guide and his knowledge of the Borg. Something inside her knew
this was the truth.
"How do you know so much about the borg muche asked.
"I was once a borg drone." The image of the moose began to change. In a matter of seconds, the
moose had changed into the form of a humanoid. Seven could tell it was a Vulcan male, that
looked remarkably like Tuvok. Even though this was clearly not Tuvok, she had the feeling she
knew him.
"My ship was captured by the Borg." her Vulcan guide said, no longer communicating
telepathically. Her guide began to walk toward her. As he did, he began to resemble a Borg
drone. Seven was racked with fear, and began to back away. "Do not fear me, I want to help
you." In the few seconds it took him to get to where Seven was standing, he was once again the
Vulcan male. "In order for you to evolve, you must have the knowledge." He held his hands out
toward her face and touched her. "Annika, give me your thoughts, let our minds become one."
Seven's mind was assaulted with images of the Vulcan's life as a drone. She suspected this mind
meld was solely for her benefit, for she could keep no secrets from him. So many voices, too
many voices the mind so active, yet, so empty loneliness and despair I am trapped pain and
anguish paranoia I am still here anger species 8472 resistance defeat and
fear Voyager technology for victory   Janeway   sacrifice death   freedom and
salvation.
Her guide let his hands fall to his sides and stepped back where he was before the mind meld.
Seven's mind was spinning, so much knowledge and insight. It took her several minutes to get her
mind clear and process what she had learned.
Her guide was once a drone on the same cube that she was. He died on that cube when it was
destroyed by species 8472, saving Voyager. When his ship was captured by the Borg, he mind
melded with the Collective through the drone that held him. The vast amount of knowledge was
incredible. They had acquired knowledge from throughout galaxy. Yet, with all that knowledge,
they had no soul, no imagination. They had no concept of higher forms of existence. That would
be their undoing, not infiltrating the Collective with viruses as human's had devised. The
Collective sent out many probes in search for information to their origins. They never heard from
the probes again, ending their search. Human's encountered one of these devices several decades
ago. The V'ger probe was sent by the Borg in search of information. The end result of the V'ger
probe joining with a human was the creation of a new Continuum. The spirit world, along with
the new Continuum are the only places known the Q have no influence. This has the Q very
concerned. The Q, like the Collective, are arrogant and short sighted. They share the same lack of
vision, and inability to believe in anything but their own superiority. That will ultimately be their
demise.
"That brings us back to you." her guide said. "I welcomed my freedom from the Collective even
though it was in death. You resisted, and tried to get back to the Collective, rather than face the
loneliness of individuality. Remember the awe you felt when you witnessed the stable Omega
molecule?"
"Yes, but it was short lived. Later that day, I saw it for it's scientific achievement, not that I saw
god."
"You are human, not Borg. And as a human, you don't believe the Omega molecule is god?"
"No, I do not."
"Annika, you must find the human equivalent that suits your beliefs. Faith is an excellent deterrent
to loneliness, despair and violence. You must have faith in yourself, in others, and in the god of
your choosing. No one can give you this, it comes from within."
"I see the truth in this." Seven replied.
"I know. Everything I have said is already part of you. The Borg influence has just clouded what
you have always had in you. Annika, it is up to you to use what you have learned here. I will
continue to guide you as you request it. I will not judge you, nor will I interfere with your
choices. You are free."
Her guide once again began to change. The image of the Vulcan male began to glow as it got
smaller, until all that was left was a point of light. Out of that light flew a beautiful Butterfly. It
flew around Seven and then disappeared down the corridor. The vision faded and Seven found
herself once again sitting at the table in the Captain's quarters.
"Seven, are you alright?" the Captain asked. There was a long pause as Seven sat and thought
about what had just taken place. A single tear formed, and slid down her cheek.
"My demons are gone, I have found myself again."
________________________________________________________________________
Captain Janeway was in the dugout waiting to go to the mound to throw the first pitch. It was a
warm spring day, the stands were full, and Frank Sinatra had just brought the house down with
his rendition of the national anthem. There was electricity in the air, unlike anything she had felt
before.
Today's game was the first of the tournament. Captain Janeway managing the Boston Red Sox vs.
the Cleveland Indians led by their skipper, Commander Chakotay. Since the announcement that
Tom and Neelix were creating a holodeck baseball program, crew interest had been
overwhelming. There were enough crew members to staff a six team league with players and
coaches. It was the talk of the ship. Security had reported no fist fights or arguments since the
formation of the league. Neelix's solution for the poor morale had done the trick.
In the bullpen she could see Seven and B'Ellana warming up. She had been watching both women
practice all week. This had pitchers dual written all over it. The ships pool had Seven as the
favorite to win, but not by much.
Since her vision quest, Seven had changed in several ways. She was much easier to talk with, and
much less argumentative. Seven and Harry had become inseparable. Sharing meals together and
time in the holodeck. If it were anyone but Harry she might have been concerned. But after having
seen the way he took care of her, she knew he was the best companion Seven could have.
The Captain took her place on the mound. After she was introduced to the crowd over the PA,
she delivered a knuckleball right over the plate. She trotted back to take her place in the dugout
as Neelix's voice came over the PA, "Play Ball!" The crowd went wild.
                       * The Beginning *